How does my child become social?

Ways to socialize a child

Some children are characterized by shyness, which is one of the traits that can be inherited from parents, as it can be inferred that the child is shy through his actions, shy children do not accept to stay in a place without the presence of their parents, and they are ashamed of people who are strangers to them and do not approach them, unlike Children who are not shy who can stay alone or approach people they are not known to, and shyness is one of the qualities that create obstacles in a person’s life, so it is important to help the child get rid of it or mitigate its impact by developing social skills for him by following some methods that suit his age and stage pass by it.

Pre-school age child

Helping the child play and make friends

It is possible to develop a child’s social skills since the first year of his life, and playing is one of the best ways to help him start teaching that. During the first three years of a child’s life, parents and siblings can play various games with him that help develop these skills , such as playing together by cutting cubes Or kick a ball each in turn, and it is important to teach the child in these games that everyone has a role in playing, and to teach him words such as “This is my turn, and this is your turn”, this teaches the child that there is another party involved in the game and that he must communicate with him. [2]

Children’s social skills can be developed through playing, as most of them have games and dolls, but sometimes they do not like to share them with other children, so it is possible for parents to help their children accept other children and play with them through several things that can be followed to contribute to the development of their social skills, which we mention as follows : [1]

  • Discussing the child in the games that other children are allowed to play with him, and here the parents should know that he will not allow others to play with his toys for a long time.
  • Teaching the child to participate in games that he does not own, as the father can bring a new toy such as putty, and his child begins to play with the other in it.
  • Doing fun activities that include movement, such as dancing to a song, or collecting balls of the same color, and this is done collectively, with the need not to neglect any child and the participation of everyone.

Games help build positive social relationships for children with their friends, and this is considered one of the important things to teach them at the pre-school stage in order to develop their social skills, so they should be taught a set of group games that are appropriate for them and that achieve this goal at the same time, which also helps them to What follows:

  • Discover their interests and tendencies .
  • Develop their ability to self-discipline and control their emotions.
  • Develop their ability to express their feelings and themselves.
  • Develop their emotional and emotional aspects.

Overcoming a child’s shyness

It is important to develop social skills for children, especially the shy ones, which they can acquire by providing them with opportunities to practice them, such as helping them to express themselves, and providing them with opportunities to have conversations with other children, and it is important to increase the shy child’s confidence in himself and encourage him to be especially bold. In situations where he feels ashamed, he can be helped by talking about himself, supporting and encouraging him on an ongoing basis, [1] and tips that are important to be followed by parents to develop the skills of children from one to three years of age as follows:

  • Not to force the child to go to someone he does not know suddenly, but rather gradually and to help the child go alone to that person, so it is possible to help the person by bringing a game with him to attract the child’s attention to it and go to him.
  • The shy child’s participation in social games at the beginning of the game and then gradually withdrawing.
  • Encouraging the child to control his feelings, and explaining to him that his feeling of fear or dread in the new situations he is exposed to is a normal feeling and he can overcome it.
  • Avoid exaggerating the feelings of the shy child and stay with him permanently, as in this way he cannot overcome his shyness.
  • Reinforce and encourage the child when communicating with others.
  • Parents’ realization that they are role models for the child, so they must adhere to social behaviors so that the child can learn from them.
  • The presence of parents in situations new to the child or when he was exposed to a specific situation in which he could not hide his shyness, in order to encourage him to overcome the situation and explain to him that the situation will become better and more comfortable.

Use of children’s books

Parents can benefit from children’s books in order to develop their children’s social skills, by looking at children’s books and choosing topics that fit their goal in developing their social skills; Such as cooperation, friendship , helping others, discussing these topics and asking them to put themselves in certain situations such as the presence of a person who needs help and explaining how they will act in that situation.

Do different activities

Children practice different activities on a daily basis, such as eating snacks and playing, so these routine activities can be benefited from in order to develop his social skills and make him practice them with his friends, for example, and it is important to focus on benefiting from these activities from the early years of a child’s life, as it is easy to implement By him, as the older the child, the more encouragement he needed to communicate with others.

Other ways to help a child be social

At the age of two to three years, children begin to try to get to know themselves and their surroundings, and at this stage, signs of growth begin to appear on them, such as the ability to speak and think, and they begin to show their feelings such as fear or admiration, so parents at this stage should pay attention to the feelings of their children and follow them and try to control them In order to direct it correctly, [5] parents can help their children develop their social skills during this age by following a number of things, including: [6]

  • Encouraging the child to express his feelings and everything inside him clearly and without fear.
  • Playing group games with the child, especially games that teach him discussion and dialogue.
  • Setting a specific time for group play and adherence to it by everyone.
  • Showing love to a child, whether by directly expressing his love for him or by hugging him, for example, a child loved by his parents has a greater ability to express his feelings and share these feelings with others. 

School age child

Helping a child make friends

It is important to help the child form good friendships by paying attention to a number of things, including: [7]

  • Follow up on the social life of the child: Parents should follow up on the activities and social practices of their child; This is done by supervising him and his activities without directly interfering in his choices, so they can help him choose the right friends for him, and it is important for them to intervene in case the child practices bad social behavior so that this behavior does not develop, which affects his social interaction, as children do not like to interact with Bad or aggressive child .
  • Training in controlling emotions: It is important to train the child to control his emotions, and to achieve this, parents should control their emotions when a bad act is issued by the child and not yell at him or insult him with insulting phrases such as: “You are silly or stupid,” or other phrases, these phrases It affects his ability to control his emotions, and in turn, appropriate strategies should be followed to socialize the child. These strategies help him control his emotions and thus increase his ability to form multiple friendships.
  • Helping the child understand facial expressions: The child can understand facial expressions and what they indicate, which helps him to develop their social relationships, so he should be trained in them.
  • Developing the emotional side of the child: It is important to develop the emotional side of the child, whether personal or his emotions towards others, by the parents or his supervisors. It is difficult to develop this aspect for him without the help of others.
  • Developing verbal and non-verbal communication skills: this is by paying attention to family communication from the early stages of the child’s life by engaging him in family dialogue and discussions, and discussions and dialogues can also be held with him about how to choose his friends correctly, and train him to conduct conversations, and with the passage of time, these Practices will increase his ability to discuss and negotiate with others.

Helping a child to overcome his shyness

It is important to help the child overcome his shyness during the school stage through a number of things that parents should do: 

  • Setting specific times to play, whether at home or with friends in their homes, and documenting these dates. When inviting this child to play at his friend’s house, it is good to go with him for the first time to overcome the feeling of fear and dread.
  • Helping the child how to explain topics confidently in front of his class, by training him in speaking and presentation skills in front of others.
  • Encouraging the child to participate in extracurricular activities in the school, such as sports competitions and scouting activities.
  • Training the child to respect others while they are speaking and not to interrupt them, especially before family meetings.
  • Avoid comparing the child with others, especially with confident children.
  • Continuous encouragement of children in order to increase their self-confidence and self-esteem.

Different ways to help a child

Parents have an important role in helping the child develop his social skills, and this is through a number of practices that they carry out, such as conducting daily conversations with the child-focused on values ​​and social relations by asking him about school or friends, in addition to discussing matters that he may be exposed to personally or about Through the Internet , such as bullying or harassment, and the need to listen to it continuously, and it is important to trust the older child and allow him to solve his personal problems alone and without parental interference, and discuss the younger child with his problems and help him solve them, [8] The child’s skills can also be developed socially by allowing For him to invite his friends to the house and give him the opportunity to take care of them and take care of their comfort, as this increases his ability to socialize. 

Attention should be paid to organizing the times of children over the age of six years and dividing them to suit different activities; Such as television, sleeping, using electronic devices, and allocating time for the family, and it is important to set controls on their use of electronic devices and set a specific time for them, and it is also necessary to develop the reading skill of children by reading books or stories to them, then having them read them, choosing and discussing different topics With them and finding appropriate ways to answer their sensitive questions in a manner appropriate to their ages, in addition to the importance of encouraging them to play and have fun and to engage in various activities such as swimming and their participation in these activities.also, discussing the child with the the social mistakes that he might make and giving him examples of the father’s own mistakes and the unsatisfactory consequences they have had, will help him to overcome these mistakes and develop better social behaviors so as not to fall into the same mistake as his father. 

The normal stages of a child’s social development according to age

Each stage is characterized by various social skills that can be developed during it, as follows: 

Children between two and three years

Children within this age can communicate verbally through some words such as: “mama, papa” and others, and physical communication such as hugs with others, and they have the ability to attract attention through their movements and words that they communicate with others, and they are able to determine their role in speaking Waiting for the other party to finish his speech, and laughing if this conversation was funny.

Children between three and four years old

Children at this age can communicate verbally through actual words and correct pronunciations, are able to play role-playing games, and are able to interact with toys and stuffed toys and treat them as friends.

Children between four and five years old

Children at this age begin to act out imaginative plays and imagine themselves as the father or mother and practice them with other children. At this stage, they have the ability to cooperate and communicate with others, and they are able to directly ask others to do something.

Children between five and six years old

Children at this age begin to apologize when something is wrong with them, as they are able to distinguish bad words, and they can practice competitive games and distinguish the right ways to play from the wrong ways and to form an idea of ​​the meaning of sportsmanship in playing and accepting loss.

Children between six and seven years old

Children at this age begin to use gestures while interacting with others and have the ability to cooperate and share with them. They are also able to take the consequences of their actions. At this age they are less likely to blame others, and they are able to have conversations with and listen to others. At this age They are able to show their feelings more, but they remain unable to distinguish between right and wrong completely, they may take incorrect positions so it is important to follow them constantly.

Causes of shyness in children

There are several possible reasons for shyness, including: 

  • Fear of failure: The frequent exposure of the child to situations in which he feels failure or uncomfortable may lead him not to put himself in future situations because of his feeling of shame about failure.
  • Family relations: If family relations are bad, or there is no interdependence between family members, or if there is an excess of fear for their children and not exposing them to situations and experiences because of that, it increases the chance of them gaining the status of shyness.
  • Heredity: The reason for shyness in an individual can be the inheritance of this trait from one of the parents or relatives, as heredity has a partial role in determining the characteristics of the individual.
  • Learned Behavior: Shyness is a trait that can be learned, especially if the child’s role model or one of his parents is a shy person.
  • Constant criticism: Children who are constantly criticized and bullied about everything by their families tend to be shy.
  • Lack of social interaction: Not exposing the child during the early stages of his life to various situations that give him an opportunity for social interaction with others may make him feel shy.
  • Child’s personality: If the child has a sensitive and emotional personality, he is likely to be shy in the future.

Social anxiety and shyness in children

A person sometimes experiences some situations in which he feels anxious, and this feeling is normal, but sometimes this anxiety turns into a disease called social anxiety, which is a mental disorder in which the patient exceeds the normal anxiety to continue with him and accompanies him in all the situations he is exposed to in His life, that is, his natural anxiety turns into chronic anxiety, or what is called social phobia, and it afflicts a person as a result of excessive thinking about the results of his practices. For fear of issuing a negative judgment on his actions, and he remains anxious because of the judgment of others on him, as he feels that they are watching him and judging his actions, and social anxiety affects the teenage group and may start in the person in childhood, and it should be treated because it may lead to cases depression and isolation if not detected and treated. 

Parents should intervene when they feel that the child has social anxiety by noting that the child avoids all situations that may cause natural anxiety, feels unjustified extreme distress, or feels a state of extreme fear of insults in various social situations, and the child may enter a state of extreme panic. Which appears in the form of sweating, shortness of breath, anger, or crying, in addition to his fear of others knowing the state of anxiety he is going through and thus judging him negatively. If these symptoms are repeated for six months or more and with all people, whether friends or others, it becomes necessary to treat the child by presenting him to a specialized doctor who conducts interviews with the child’s family and the supervisors of his education to be able to assess his condition. 

A person with social anxiety can be treated by following psychotherapy, or psychotherapy with the use of medications, where the treatment is as follows: 

  • Psychological program: In this program, the doctor is interested in helping the sick child control anxiety and try to change his way of thinking that causes him constant anxiety. He is also interested in teaching the child some skills to practice in situations that make him anxious, as social skills are important in treating this disease. 
  • Medication program: This program increases the effectiveness of behavioral therapy, as there are many medications that help reduce symptoms of anxiety and fear, including selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (Serotonin reuptake inhibitors), and there are also types of medications such as beta-blockers. which reduces the physical symptoms of anxiety; Like a fast heartbeat and sweating.

Children’s social skills

A person needs many skills to be able to live positively in his life, and social skills are the most prominent of these skills, and they include a set of things that help people interact positively, which can be defined as a set of verbal communication skills. Verbal communication refers to speech, and nonverbal communication refers to body language such as gestures and facial expressions. 

Social skills are very important for a person, so he must acquire them from childhood by giving him the opportunity to interact with those around him since childhood. Through this interaction and over time, the child begins to form an independent personality and acquire various social skills; Such as the ability to communicate with others, and to form friendships by himself, as these friendships will multiply later, so his ability to act properly in various situations that he may be exposed to, such as having a disagreement with his friend, and also gaining the ability to control his actions,But some children may lack them These skills, so there are many ways that a child can be socialized, which we will mention in this article.

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