Children are the comfort of the human eye and the joy that awaits him in this life. They are the source of happiness and contentment, and the sociable in this world. In them his life is sweet, and on them he pins his hopes, but all of this depends on their proper upbringing, their upbringing on Islam, obedience to God Almighty, and love of others; If a person does this well, they are the adornment of this worldly life, and the Almighty says : (Wealth and children are the adornment of this worldly life) But if a person does not lead to the right ways in raising children , and does not exert himself in that, and does not choose what is good for them, they become a calamity for him. And it is a source of hardship and misery in this world , and it will be a place of questioning before God Almighty for the neglect of their upbringing in the Hereafter.
With the passage of days, education has become more difficult and more complex than it was previously, due to the changes and external influences that have affected this time at all cultural, economic, media and technological levels. All of this gives children different behavioral patterns that are a heavy burden on parents, and constitute a major obstacle in the path of good upbringing.
Obedience skills for a child
Family awareness and the availability of a calm and serene home are important factors in following the sound educational methods in raising children , and making the child obedient to his parents does not happen suddenly; Rather, it is an educational process that is carried out by following a group of methods, including:
- Good example: As a good example has a great and effective effect on the child , he imitates his parents in every small and large, and therefore they have to adopt high Islamic morals, and avoid all bad behavior, and that honesty is their approach in the simplest types of transactions, and the child sees this through actions Not the words, as many fathers try to teach the child not to lie , but he feels the opposite of that saying from his parents’ behavior, and he implants in his mind what he finds of the fathers in terms of actions, not words, and the same is true of obedience . The child grew up obedient to them.
- avoiding too much blame and constant admonition; Do not reprimand the child for every behavior he does, because frequent reprimanding and reprimanding removes the child from the circle of care to the circle of indifference.
- supplication for the child; So supplication is one of the important matters that parents must adhere to towards their children, so that God Almighty helps them to raise their children, and helps their children to obey them, and they choose the times in which supplications are answered, so the heart softens, and mercy and intimacy spreads between the two parties, and in return, God Almighty forbade parents To pray for their children, because that is contrary to Islamic morals and to the mercy that God Almighty planted in the hearts of His servants.
- Giving the child his rights and implementing his desires and needs.
- Justice and equality in the treatment of children and non-discrimination between them, because discrimination breeds hatred and aggression in the child, and it is difficult to find a child who feels inferior and unjust obedient for a long time, as his obedience may be temporary and he soon announces his disobedience and rebellion against those around him.
- If the parents want the child to show obedience and commitment to what they want to show respect for him and appreciation for any work he does, praising him and praising his actions and skills, and informing the child that he is of a high standing and stature with his parents, and that he is an effective human being important to them and that they are in constant need of him and his help; The child feels valued and respected by others, and thus obeys his parents and appreciates their concern for him.
Persuading a child is an art to win what you want
Persuasion is a very precise skill, which no one can master, and it is a process of changing or enhancing attitudes, and it may be a change in an act or behavior of the child, the parents seek to deter him from doing, and stay away from such behavior or creation (lying for example), so using the method of Persuasion makes the child feel that his parents respect his mind and his thinking, and that he has the first and last opinion in this situation, and that he alone has the decision, and behavior is not an obligation imposed on him by his parents.
Persuasion, if implemented correctly, has achieved the desired goal, and there is a great similarity between persuasion and manipulation; Many people find it difficult to distinguish between them, but the difference between them is the intention of the persuasive person . With constant practice, and that whoever masters it gets what he wants with the least damage, and the simplest way, it is one of the excellent communication skills , and it is what leads people to common ground, on which they can converge in ideas, beliefs and goals.